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Why I Think Romance Is More About The Small Things

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Why I Think Romance Is More About The Small Things | heartnatured

I went out of town a couple of weekends ago. J was home, eating DiGiorno pizza and tackling projects around the house. We texted back and forth a little bit, but not much. While we are both relatively independent people, and while I greatly enjoyed the weekend with the girls, by the time I was in the car headed home, I was ready.

I was ready to be back in J’s presence, ready to once again be able to get his opinion on whatever was on my mind, ready to laugh with him. Why is that? Why were those the driving reasons for my excitement to return? Because I’ve come to find that my deepest joy in being married to him is found in the small things.

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Goals and Hindrances Of Good Conversation

Posted in him, relationships

Let me paint a mental picture for you…

It’s been a busy week, and you’re weary. Weary of the seemingly mundane tasks of life: laundry, dishes, cleaning. And a little frustration is creeping into your heart because your spouse doesn’t seem to be that helpful. They’re either busy at work or distracted by their own life stuff (while we are one, we are still individuals)..

One particular night you feel like you’re at the end of your rope, and you feel a small explosion about to occur. When your spouse walks through the door you get very expressive:

“Can you not see how tired I am? You aren’t the only one who is busy, but I feel alone in doing everything at home! Why can’t you pay attention to me? Why don’t you want to help me? Are you that selfish?”

And he quite possibly responds just as expressively, or maybe he’s quietly hurt or offended by your word-explosion.

Then you’re both highly emotional and it’s probably a little messy, and takes longer to make right.

This is a random example of a instance, but I think these conversations happen in relationships more often than we think. In any relationship, not only marriage.

I have never blown up at J before, but that’s not because I haven’t felt those explosive emotions, I just internalize things. Instead of shouting, I get silent. Not healthy all the same.

Even in my short (but still kind of long?) 3 years of being with J, whether it was from a mentor’s advice, or a book I read, or simply experience, I’ve learned characteristics of both helpful and hurtful conversation. I’ve also, with the help of the Holy Spirit, been reminded that the little choices greatly affect our relationship in the long run. So here we go…

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20 Original Date Ideas

Posted in him

I seem to be all about the list posts these days, haha.

J’s birthday is two days before Valentine’s Day, so that means we plan or balance around birthday plans. This year, his birthday and Valentine’s Day book-end a weekend. We have a good bit going on this weekend, unexpected and nice, but it means our Valentine’s celebrating might look a little unconventional. And it can be marvelous if we let it!

While it’s great to drab up and go out, the unconventional dates can be some of the most special. Would you agree?

How about these….

  1. Ice Cream Outing
  2. Photo Session (I’d love to do this someday.)
  3. Zoo Or Aquarium
  4. Take A Hike
  5. Farmer’s Market Visit
  6. Brunch Date
  7. Alumni High School Sporting Event
  8. Make Homemade Something (Bread, ice cream, pizza, etc.)
  9. Restaurant You’ve Never Visited Before
  10. Dancing Class
  11. A Night Away (We did this for our first Valentine’s day, a staycation of sorts, and it was super sweet.)
  12. Shopping Trip (We’re decorating bits and pieces of our home, and it’s fun to pick out items together.)
  13. Fun Exercise (A pick up game of soccer is sometimes our weekend gig, or a bike ride.)
  14. Snacks + Show Marathon
  15. Road Trip To See Friends or Family
  16. Wander Around A Bookstore
  17. Have A Living Room Campout
  18. People Watching (We like to eat dinner somewhere, and then hit the mall for a milkshake and people watching.)
  19. Go On A Photography Adventure (We like these. It’s mostly for me, but he enjoys my silliness.)
  20. Picnic Somewhere You’ve Never Been

This weekend we have a brunch date that will consist of creating waffle masterpieces. J then has plans for most of the day with his dad, and he has hinted at a fun dinner spot.

What are your Valentine’s plans? Date night out with the girls? A fun adventure with your guy?