… so I asked God for help.
I’m trying to include Him in even my small decisions, instead of just running to Him when I faltering under the weight of something big. So I prayed, “God, please show me why I should exercise, give me a fresh perspective, renewed desire for something I know is beneficial to my well-being.”
If you know me at all, you know that I have been an athlete for many years. Starting in 6th grade, I played many sports, exercised for fun on the weekends, trained competitively in college, and simply like to be active. Getting up in the morning for a run or spin class or ab workout has never been a second thought. It was simply my default, it was what I did.
Until this season of life. I began a new job that I enjoy, gearing up for a busy Fall complete with more responsibilities and commitments — all good things. Also, for the first time in a long time, I am truly, entirely content in my body. I’m eating well and freely, I look in the mirror and feel good, if I’m being candid. A gift from God, especially considering my past battles with body image and perfection. Freedom, beauty, confidence – who I am in Christ.
Praise the Lord, right? Yes, yes, yes. Praise Him.
I then realized something interesting. Up went finding my true, lasting contentment and identity in Jesus, prioritizing Kingdom efforts over my vain work… down went my motivation to exercise.
What used to drive me — up at 6am for a long summertime run, getting home late from an after-work spin class — was my insatiable discontent with my body. I was in the mindset that intense, regular exercise was necessary for me to feel okay with myself, for me to eat certain foods, for me to meet the expectations of those around me. I was fearful of losing momentum, not being I was afraid I’d gain a pound of two, but because my mindset was that how I currently am is not good enough, I need to be different than what I am right now.