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relationships

trusting God to be God

Posted in faith

Do you ever wear a garment of worry over loved ones and their decisions?

Have you ever found yourself carrying burdens of someone else’s life that aren’t yours to carry? Do you tend to live anxious about someone else’s opinion of you?

A truth that comes around now and again since I became a follower of Jesus is this: You are not someone else’s Holy Spirit.

Meaning: you are not meant to be God in someone’s life. You are human, and you have limits. But like Matthew 19:26 says, God has none (hallelujah, thank you, all praise to You, God).

“My over-caring shows up when I try to fix everything for everyone. I want to take away everyone’s pain. It is as if I want to be their savior. Recently I realized that when I try too hard to make it all just right, I’m really attempting to play God. It wears me out and sends me into overload. At the same time, it robs those I love from learning the lessons God wants to teach them. I might even stand in the way of them coming to know Him personally. That thought makes me sad. I understand what perfectionistic-overload means for me: It’s when I try to go beyond my human limitations and do what only God and the other person can do together. It is then that I experience exhaustion and self-doubt. Changing the way I relate to the people around me puts me squarely into unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory.” Joan Webb

There was something going on at work, a serious Holy Spirit heart tug, and I was on the fence about being obedient. A few days later I decided to trust, and walking out a conversation feeling nauseas I felt God impress, Trust Me with other people’s opinion of you.

Then, with some family stuff going on, my husband insightfully said, “You never know what God is teaching them.” I’m thankful he said that, because I’m the type to run around in circles, wanting to cry at the stress or brokenness of a situation, word vomit until people are confused, and then regret multiple things and go to sleep asking God to forgive me. Just being honest. There’s no way for me to know God’s agenda for someone else’s spiritual growth or how God plans to show His power in their life.

I was catching up with a good friend who was sharing something similar she is learning with her 4 year old. She said something like, “I can instruct, love, guide, discipline, but I can’t change her heart. It might someday create waves in our family, but God is going to have to meet her, and she with Him, to change and be made new.”

It’s like Joan says above, “I understand what perfectionistic overload means for me: it’s when I try to go beyond my human limitations and do what only God and the other person can do together.”

And I realize, isn’t that better?

God is infinitely better and enough for each of us. He knows exactly what we need precisely when we need it.

Man, have I been seriously getting this wrong. Over-caring, over-reaching into a place that only God can go.

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lately

Posted in lifestyle

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This post is a heart and mind spill.

Lately I’ve been praying a lot about a large storm called Matthew. For people who have lost loved ones, for those still in its path. Our God is far bigger than a storm, but it’s still a little scary.

Lately I’ve been learning about Holy Spirit. Who He is, and why He is given to us.

Lately I’ve been catching up on the new show This Is Us. Have you watched this yet? What do you think about it? I think it’s creative writing, definitely different.

Lately I’ve been jamming/watching Bethel’s mountainside worship. You can view it here, it’s pretty beautiful.

Lately I have loved wearing my Raven + Lily jewelry, like you see below. “Raven + Lily is committed to providing beautiful and unique modern minimalist products that are made by hand, follow fair trade standards, and honor our eco-friendly commitment.”

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Lately I’ve been inspired by the words of Jonathan Edwards.

To go to heaven, fully to enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here.

Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected.

Lately I am loving the community I’m blessed to be in. From a church women’s retreat to small group in our home to phone conversations to written letters. People are the coolest. They are the greatest gifts of this temporary life.

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Lately God has touched my afresh. And I’m heart and soul grateful.

Whoever is reading this post, I pray grace and peace and God’s favor on you. Thanks for reading. :)