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relationships

trusting God to be God

Posted in faith

Do you ever wear a garment of worry over loved ones and their decisions?

Have you ever found yourself carrying burdens of someone else’s life that aren’t yours to carry? Do you tend to live anxious about someone else’s opinion of you?

A truth that comes around now and again since I became a follower of Jesus is this: You are not someone else’s Holy Spirit.

Meaning: you are not meant to be God in someone’s life. You are human, and you have limits. But like Matthew 19:26 says, God has none (hallelujah, thank you, all praise to You, God).

“My over-caring shows up when I try to fix everything for everyone. I want to take away everyone’s pain. It is as if I want to be their savior. Recently I realized that when I try too hard to make it all just right, I’m really attempting to play God. It wears me out and sends me into overload. At the same time, it robs those I love from learning the lessons God wants to teach them. I might even stand in the way of them coming to know Him personally. That thought makes me sad. I understand what perfectionistic-overload means for me: It’s when I try to go beyond my human limitations and do what only God and the other person can do together. It is then that I experience exhaustion and self-doubt. Changing the way I relate to the people around me puts me squarely into unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory.” Joan Webb

There was something going on at work, a serious Holy Spirit heart tug, and I was on the fence about being obedient. A few days later I decided to trust, and walking out a conversation feeling nauseas I felt God impress, Trust Me with other people’s opinion of you.

Then, with some family stuff going on, my husband insightfully said, “You never know what God is teaching them.” I’m thankful he said that, because I’m the type to run around in circles, wanting to cry at the stress or brokenness of a situation, word vomit until people are confused, and then regret multiple things and go to sleep asking God to forgive me. Just being honest. There’s no way for me to know God’s agenda for someone else’s spiritual growth or how God plans to show His power in their life.

I was catching up with a good friend who was sharing something similar she is learning with her 4 year old. She said something like, “I can instruct, love, guide, discipline, but I can’t change her heart. It might someday create waves in our family, but God is going to have to meet her, and she with Him, to change and be made new.”

It’s like Joan says above, “I understand what perfectionistic overload means for me: it’s when I try to go beyond my human limitations and do what only God and the other person can do together.”

And I realize, isn’t that better?

God is infinitely better and enough for each of us. He knows exactly what we need precisely when we need it.

Man, have I been seriously getting this wrong. Over-caring, over-reaching into a place that only God can go.

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lately

Posted in lifestyle

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This post is a heart and mind spill.

Lately I’ve been praying a lot about a large storm called Matthew. For people who have lost loved ones, for those still in its path. Our God is far bigger than a storm, but it’s still a little scary.

Lately I’ve been learning about Holy Spirit. Who He is, and why He is given to us.

Lately I’ve been catching up on the new show This Is Us. Have you watched this yet? What do you think about it? I think it’s creative writing, definitely different.

Lately I’ve been jamming/watching Bethel’s mountainside worship. You can view it here, it’s pretty beautiful.

Lately I have loved wearing my Raven + Lily jewelry, like you see below. “Raven + Lily is committed to providing beautiful and unique modern minimalist products that are made by hand, follow fair trade standards, and honor our eco-friendly commitment.”

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Lately I’ve been inspired by the words of Jonathan Edwards.

To go to heaven, fully to enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here.

Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected.

Lately I am loving the community I’m blessed to be in. From a church women’s retreat to small group in our home to phone conversations to written letters. People are the coolest. They are the greatest gifts of this temporary life.

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Lately God has touched my afresh. And I’m heart and soul grateful.

Whoever is reading this post, I pray grace and peace and God’s favor on you. Thanks for reading. :)

“Be kind. Be you. Love Jesus.”

Posted in faith

“One of the best parts of being human is other humans. It’s true, because life is hard; but people get to show up for one another, as God told us to, and we remember we are loved and seen and God is here and we are not alone. We can’t deliver folks from their pits, but we can sure get in there with them until God does.” Jen Hatmaker

BEWARE: HEART SPILL AHEAD. PREPARE FOR VULNERABILITY.

As I grow up, I’m continually reminded and learning what matters most (I say continually, because I am an Israelite, and I forgot God all too quickly): Jesus and people. Loving and knowing Jesus, and relationships. Being my best self, confident in how God created me (as in trusting + believing that my gifts are useful and important, and that the quirky parts of my being aren’t wrong or need to be changed and scrutinized 24/7 — can anyone else relate?), to be poured out like a full bucket of water, for people. Heaven (I think) will be a place for God glory and people, not met or unmet expectations or earthly achievement, not worldly acquisition or the acceptance by culture.

I believe that on this earth there are right and wrong pressures, (maybe ‘okay’ pressures and ‘good’ pressures is another way to say it) for a Christ follower. A God-pressure? Noticing someone who needs some love, grace, wisdom, kindness, or Jesus. The tug on your heart, the conviction in your spirit, that kind of pressure. Loving those that are unlovable, cheering on other members of the family in their endeavors, sticking with them in the trenches when life is tough. Like the above quote, “We can’t deliver folks from their pits, but we sure get in there with them until God does.”

A earthly pressure? Being perfect at my job, setting unrealistic standards for myself, prioritizing self-image over soul transformation, pride when I’ve made a mistake or been wronged, having everything together, never being vulnerable; the list could go on. There is so much grabbing for our attention these days. So many pressures that, I’m afraid, I don’t think are from God. But they are pressures that I tend to live from, to make choices in responses to.

My God, Savior, and best companion, and relationships. These are lasting priorities, these are worthwhile, eternal pursuits. These are what will shape, mold, change, complete, and grow my heart (and the hearts of others) for eternity.

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